Teen Thump Interview

What’s your favorite color?

It depends on my mood, but usually green.

 

If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?

I like Bonsai trees because they’re expensive. Chris would be a potted plant … in fact,  Chris is a potted plant.

 

Favorite Partridge moment?

When our first record sold a million copies.

 

Favorite Partridge song?

I Think I Love You – ‘cause it made the most money and I still get royalties every time it’s used in ads.

 

Why the bass?

Because you only have to play one note at a time.

 

What do you do for fun?

Teach my daughters to play Partridge Family songs when my ex wife lets me see ‘em.  Danielle is getting pretty good on the bass, but Tracey Jr doesn’t seem to like the tambourine much.  She keeps screaming for a drum set but I know nothing good can come from that.  Look at what happened to Danny Jr.

(Editor’s Note – Danny Jr., kidnapped as a toddler, ultimately became a drummer and, like Chris (to whom he bears a striking resemblance), has had his troubles with addiction and the criminal justice system.)

 

What’s it like playing with Chris and Laurie?  

It’s great.  There’s nothing better than being together when we’re singing.

 

What do you like best about Laurie?

Her dedication to the band.  She’s so dedicated, in fact, that she’ll wear hot pants on stage even though she believes they demean and objectify women.

 

And Chris?

How do I love Chris – let me count the way.  I love Chris when she shows up in good enough shape to play the songs.

 

What do you like about playing in The Danny Phartridge Expherience?

First off, I really like the name The Danny Phartridge Expherience (although I wish it was still spelled The Danny Partridge Experience).  I also like the fact that I sing lead on most of the songs.

 

Describe your first kiss?

It was on our first tour.  She was about a foot taller than me with long blond hair.  I promised her I’d introduce her to Keith if she let me kiss her.  I closed my eyes and lunged at her, banged my teeth into her chin, and copped a feel which lasted about a tenth of a second.  It was absolute bliss.  When I couldn’t find Keith, she socked me in the stomach and I threw up.  It was heaven.

 

Describe your first girlfriend?

Her name was Gloria Hickey.  She had long blond hair and was only 6 inches taller than me. She was a little weird though.  She was always wrestling with Chris over the remote.  And you know, now that I think about it, we didn’t even have a remote.

 

What do you first notice about a girl?

Whether or not she’s taller than me.  And also whether she has long blond hair. And whether she likes Chris.

 

Describe what kind of girl you like?

Curvaceous blondes of independent means – who are shorter than me and don’t like Chris.

 

What celebrity could you see as your dream mate?

Oprah Winfrey with a blond wig. Not Anna Nicole Smith ‘cause she’s already dated Chris.

 

Describe your dream date when you were 10, 20, and 35?

Age 10:

One of Keith’s beautiful girlfriends takes me up to Muldoon’s Point and makes out with me, exclaiming repeatedly how she only dated Keith to get next to me.

 

Age 20:

One of Chris’ beautiful girlfriends takes me up to Muldoon’s Point and gives me a blow job, exclaiming repeatedly how she only dated Chris to get next to me.

 

Age 35:

A beautiful woman, who hasn’t slept with Keith or Chris, takes me up to Muldoon’s Point and screws me, exclaiming repeatedly how she’d never date a pansy like Keith or a lowlife like Chris, especially when there’s a quality stud like me in the picture.

Catching Up with Danny Partridge

* The “h” is silent

The Danny Phartridge Expherience*